September 28, 2015 Riley

Do you want to learn how pride and humility can be a huge benefit?

Personal progress and growth is connected to pride and humility.  I don’t think a person can actually be successful unless they are humble. There is a negative connotation for humility that I previously had, I thought humble people were weak.  However, I will show how the humble are stronger that the prideful.  I have gone through a process of understanding a few truths of real humility and the self-destructive tendency of pride. I want to make something clear, there is nothing wrong with being proud of a great accomplishment of yours, your children, friends, or family.  There is something wrong about boasting, showing-off, and belittling others because of your “apparent greatness.”  I have thought and studied a lot about humility and pride, I wanted to be able to harness these for my benefit.  Let’s learn what humility is, what pride is and what a “humble pride” is.

Humility Defined

Humility is not saying things like: “I am not good enough.”

“I’ll never be able to.”

“I don’t have the ability.”

“No one believes in me.”

“I should just be quiet because no one listens to me.”

“Oh no I am not good.”

Humility shows in things said like: “Thank you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“It turned out nicely.”

“I am glad I could help.”

“It was nice to have so-and-so help me.”

When one accepts compliments or mild accolades shows a sign of humility.  Why?  Because it takes strength by the compliment-giver to show that respect and recognition.  Also, it takes strength to receive those comments with a simple thank you. You’ll often hear phrases like these:

“Will you help me?”

“I’d love a helping hand.”

“I will try.”

“You did so great.”

And the list goes on.  A humble person understands their place and ability in any context and doesn’t try to extend past their own strength for it is foolish and can result in making themselves look silly.  Have you seen that?  A person pridefully tries to do more than they can and they end up making a fool of themselves.  It happens a lot, I have done it… The humble person knows their strengths and ability and strives to their limit.  There is a certain intrinsic knowledge of oneself. A humble person is never looking down.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” -C. S. Lewis


Pride Defined

Phrases that shows a prideful person are: “No.”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“I don’t need help.”

“No I’m not.”

“I suck.”

“That was terrible.”

“I don’t need anything.”

These not only make a person who is trying to help feel uncomfortable and put off, but they also get someone to give more acknowledgment toward the person. A prideful person seem to fish for compliments, I have done it a lot and it was because of my insecurity and self-doubt.  Pride is a debilitating trait that affects you and those around you.  I read somewhere that pride makes you suffer in silence.  When you are in need of help, you don’t pipe-up and have to endure all alone. Not accepting help seems easier and people who deny it end up being more stressed…I am guilty of this. Pride will lead you nowhere. The proud will try to run faster than their legs will all them to prove their strength or to “one-up” someone. They end up making excuses as to why they couldn’t accomplish what they “boasted they could do.” It’s funny how prideful people never really live up to what they say they can do, or what they know.  Prideful people are always looking down.

“I would always rather be happy than dignified.”-Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

The Paradox

Paradoxically, humility has qualities you would expect from pride.  What I mean is, a humble person has a deep self-confidence and high sense of self-worth.  A humble person knows who they are and what they are capable of.  They don’t need to fish for compliments.  They can accept help and compliments that do not feed their ego.  This is why a humble person is stronger than a prideful person. Especially because the humble do things for others and not themselves. The proud are unsure of themselves and need the extra recognition.  The proud don’t really believe in themselves, why do you think they talk about themselves so often?  They are trying to portray their competence, sadly they really don’t know if they have any.  Pride is merely a defense mechanism for the truly weak.

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” Thomas Merton

The Humble Pride

I say be proud of who you are, what you can do, and what you have accomplished and your humility will be how you reflect that. That is the humble pride. The inner-knowledge of knowing yourself, believing in yourself, and loving yourself.  These should be built up each day and cherished deeply.  How can you develop a humble pride?  Here are some tips:

  1. Know what you can and can’t do.
  2. Believe in yourself.
  3. Accept honest compliments.
  4. Give honest compliments.
  5. Accept help.
  6. Love who you are!
  7. Prove you can only to yourself.
  8. Don’t worry about what others say, do, or think.
  9. Give reason to your life.
  10. Find out what your God-given gifts are and harness them.

If you are prideful you will be lonely, you will have a hard time achieving the maximum results, and you will be insecure.  If you have humble pride you will have built many relationships due to service rendered and accepted therefore achieving the maximum results to solidify your self-worth.  Your success will be more meaningful and far-reaching when you are humble.  You will gain so much more in life.  The process to change starts with recognition of your pride, acceptance of weakness, and harnessing of strengths.  You will be able to turn your weaknesses into strengths, it takes patience and humility.  I promise that a humble pride will benefit you so much and if you believe in a higher power, go to it and ask for help.  That’s what got me through.

You’ll be amazed how much better your outcomes will be when you are a pride is tamed by humility.

The first sign to a humble pride will be your first honest THANK YOU!

be happy.