PERSPECTIVE: How I Control The Outcome.

October 30, 2015 Riley

There are moments in life where you feel as if you are in the middle of the road not knowing which way is forward.  Have you ever felt that?  I have, quite frequently.  There are times when I look at everything around me and I cannot make anything of it, it’s a blur.  Many times when we are down on ourselves for not doing enough or not giving our everything, we feel stagnant.  People do bad things, also bad things occur naturally.  Circumstance can take a hold of us and manipulate our thoughts and feelings.  If we are shaped by circumstance then we lose sight of who we really are and become what circumstance wants.  We should shape ourselves in any circumstance, and make someone better.  Being a victim of circumstance is a painful happening that can be controlled by a simple thought change.  When something goes wrong, we encounter ourselves asking “why?” “Why me?” You know what? that’s exactly what we should be asking.  We can figure out why, through a diligent search for an answer. We will soon find an unexpected blessing hidden deep within.

I seem to be able to grow even when the outcome is undesired.  I have wondered about this, now I understand it’s the way I see the situation that makes the difference.  I am able to alter my perspective to see the good buried in the bad.  The lesson behind it all.  The benefits I received.  And the deep-rooted “why” for what happened.  I am able to walk away from a trial and hardship without lots of regret or remorse.  I can confidently overcome and move on.  This applies very well to any situation that has to do with others who may offend us, hurt us, ruin a situation, worsen a predicament, or bring us down.  Holding on to what they did (or what happened) is just like drinking poison one drop at a time.  It wont kill you immediately, it will take effect the more you have.  How is it I am able to do this? Other than it being a gift or ability of mine, I know it can be practiced and learned.  Here are a few steps to follow:

  1. Think.  Let your mind work out the events of what happened.  Don’t react too soon.
  2. Identify a “why.”  Figure out a reason for what happened.
  3. Find at least one good thing.
  4. Give the benefit of the doubt at first.
  5. Forgive whomever and whatever you need to so that you can have inner peace.
  6. Apply what you learned to your life. (You will understand it more.)
  7. Teach others how to overcome a similar situation. (You will appreciate it more.)

There doesn’t have to be a regression in life if you don’t want one.  You can turn a situation into something positive.  Even the moments that appear so bleak a positive attitude is worthless, you will be able to grow and turn the darkness into light.  In the moment advice like this seems obvious, silly, unhelpful maybe even insensitive.  But chances are it would help.  I know I don’t want to be miserable, pessimistic, negative, down, sad and hurting.  Why not “look at the bright side?”  It can’t hurt me, it will simply give me a better feeling, even if it is a tiny hint of joy sprinkled on.  This life is a time to learn, grow, progress and become better.  Using every moment to do those things is not going to take anything from you, it can only add to your life.

A change of perspective may result in a change of outcome.  If you are having a hard time, try to think it will be just fine, what happens if it turns out to be just fine?  You’d be happy right?  What happens if it doesn’t turn out to be just fine?  Not only did your positive thinking help keep you sane but you have an opportunity to learn from your experience and ultimately grow.  It’s perfectly fine to change your perspective, as a matter of fact it will help you over come.  If you change your perspective you’ll control the circumstances, if you control the circumstances you control the outcome.  I believe that there is a positive in most everything, most everyone, and mostly everywhere.  It takes a conscious effort to find it.  Hope is not lost, you get to bring it out whenever and however you can.  Take a second to think, you’ll be amazed to find the hidden bits of good everywhere.

be happy.